One Year

One year ago today, I found out I was pregnant with my sweet, sweet Jeremiah.  As I lay here feeding him and getting ready to go to sleep, I am reflecting on the past year - what a year it has been.  After losing Jonathon, we knew we wanted more children - I just didn't know how our future would pan out.     On January 14, 2012, while Rin and I were having lunch at Mellow Mushroom, I told him I thought I was pregnant.  This was the first month (in the past 18 months) that I wasn't consumed with wondering if I was pregnant.  After a year and a half of "trying," a hysteroscopy, cysts, irregularity, having my fallopian tubes cleared, and 3 failed fertility treatments, our dreams were coming true.

I was relatively calm during my pregnancy with Jeremiah, but I always had a fear that I would lose him too.  I already had a "perfect" pregnancy, and it ended with losing Jonathon.  My pregnancy with Jeremiah started out rocky, and I had a couple of very scary times - especially at the end when my sweet boy seemed to love doing complete flips in my womb, and he was very good at taking naps during his non-stress tests.  But we made it, and now I have the most amazing little baby boy in my life.

I couldn't have done it without the best doctors ever (Dr. McDaniel is AMAZING), some very dear friends, the best co-workers (and friends), my support group, my sweet and cuddly terriers, and a very, very supportive family that helped me get to where I am today.  I couldn't have survived this past year without my amazing and loving best friend and husband, Rin.  He took care of everything during my pregnancy with Jeremiah, and he supported me every step of the way.  He is an amazing husband and father.  My faith - my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, my priest - Father Frank, Mary, Saint Gianna, Saint Gerard - without my faith, I would have been LOST.  And last, but not least (I type this with tears in my eyes), I couldn't have made it through this past year without my dear, sweet Jonathon in heaven - everyday I ask him to tug on Jesus's robe and ask that his little brother is protected.  I am very blessed to have my very own guardian angel watching over me and all those I love.  Jonathon is my angel in heaven, and Jeremiah is my earth angel - I am so blessed by both of my boys.

One year ago, my life felt very incomplete and uncertain.  Today I feel like I am living a dream.  Life is good, life is very good.

When the times are tough, hang in there.  All of our journeys are unique, they are our own - they make us who we are.  While you are on your journey, know I'm here if you ever need anything.  And if you ever feel "lost" maybe these words will help you get through the tough times: "For I know the plans I have for you," declare the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11